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Love Notes

Love.   Isn’t that a great word?

Love is one of my favorite words and not just because I’m a newlywed!

I hope that even if you have walked some hard places because of loving someone, you still believe in true love.  I do.

What completes this sentence for you, “I love…”?

I love good hair days, the sound of my children laughing, my husband, all things Christmas, Jane Austen novels, my friend Keri’s fashion-sense, hot pink nail polish, and every movie I’ve ever watched with my sister Amanda.

If you grew up an 80’s girl, you love hot pink nail polish too, and you will remember these songs, “Love is a Battlefield”; “Tainted Love”; “I Want To Know What Love Is”; “You Can’t Hurry Love”.  If you are a groovy 70’s gal, how about, “I Honestly Love You”; “Let Your Love Flow”; “Love Train”?  If you are a go-go of the 60’s you might remember “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling”; “Can’t Buy Me love”; “Love Me Do”; “Give A Little Love”.

Clearly our culture is confused about what love is.  Most of us are pretty confused too.  We understand love based on our own limited experiences.  Some of our experiences have been beautiful, maybe even true love.  Other experiences have left our hearts tattered, and we still have the scars.

Real love is deeply personal.  True love, is so much more than mere “fancy” as my Scottish mother would say.

As I began my walk through a painful (is there any other kind?) divorce, I experienced a true miracle.  God, who I have decided is a romantic, sent me a love note!   A real, tangible, actual love note!

It was days before my first divorce court appearance.  Cue ominous music, think of words like looming and dreaded, etc.  It had been only weeks since my happy world had come crashing down.  I was adjusting to my new normal which included being a single Mom of four.  It was a day by day, moment by moment, “Lord HELP me” filled time.

Being the only one of my circle of friends to walk the path of divorce, I had no one to mentor me through.  I had BIG fear of the unknown.  Custody issues were heavy on my heart.  This Mom’s heartstrings were tightly knit to her four little ones.  I had no idea what to expect on that court date.

To distract myself from the fear, I did the obvious girl thing, and picked out a perfect courtroom outfit.  My life was turned upside down, but at least I’d look “together” was my irrational rationale at the time.  I borrowed some black dress pants from a girlfriend, and bought myself a new vibrant fuchsia blouse.  Fuchsia since I am that 80’s girl and I hoped it might conceal the evidence (bags under my eyes and new creases on my forehead) of the strain I felt.

Next, I had to get serious about being prepared.  Basically I felt very little control over anything in my life, so I was grasping!  I defaulted to the woman I was before I was a Mom of four.

I call her Miss Planner.  She is an organized person.  She wears clothes that say, “dry clean only”.  She files things alphabetically and has completed to do lists.  She’s a manager  to the core.  She’s an empowering kind of a gal- I like her!

This might sound totally ridiculous to those of you who still wear dry clean only clothes, carry briefcases to work, and know how to multi-task from your iPhone.  Please extend some grace to my frazzled state.  I am so not a Clueless type of woman.  I was really proud of my choice to be a stay at home Mom for more than a decade.  I’m smart, strong, and capable, but at this point in my life, my self-esteem had been run over by a semi-truck that was speeding in the opposite direction, with big red letters R-E-J-E-C-T-I-O-N down the side of it.

Having some sense of control over something- even if just what I wore, and even where I’d put all of my legal papers helped take my mind off of the fear.  So, I set off in search of the perfect binder, one that would say, “I’m prepared.” I found just the right one- it was pink, with some gray flowers on it and the icing on the cake was that it had initials of a real four year college on it.  A hand me down from one of my college degree holding sisters.

Thinking the binder was empty, I opened it to put my papers inside.  And that is when I found my Love Note from God!  There in the back pocket of the pink binder, I noticed a folded white piece of paper.  I unfolded the paper, expecting it to be a forgotten shopping list, or a piece of kid’s artwork that was very common in my house.  What I found instead took my breath away.  Typed in a plain, small font, was this message:

You are my child; I love you more than anyone else in the world.  I will never leave or forsake you.  You are of inestimable worth, in My eyes.  I suffered the torments of hell on your behalf.  I care about who you are on the inside, not what you look like on the outside, or your value in the eyes of the world.  I will be with you until the end of the world.  I will carry you through periods of struggle.  I will nourish you, raise you, and make you into a worthy vessel for My service.  I will destroy those who destroy you.  I will give you my peace, which passes all understanding.  Through Me, you have the Way, the Truth and the Life.  Stay with Me.  I want you near Me.  Lift your eyes to me; hold My hand, trust Me, and walk with Me every day.  I will eventually receive you in Glory, where you can sit at the table with Me.  Then we will always be together. 

Tears fell.  This was true love.  This was so personal.  God is so personal.  He reminded me that He saw every detail of my circumstances.  God knew exactly what I needed to hear at that very moment.  Fears began to fade away as I remembered God’s promises to me.  I knew without a doubt that this was a Love Note directly from God to me.

I spent some time on my knees, in that school room filled with dozens of other binders.  I thanked God for meeting me there.  He used that Love Note to speak so tenderly to my broken heart.  I heard His reassurance that He knew all about every unknown in my future.  They were not unknown to Him.  He knew all about what I would be facing in my “new normal”, in court and in everything else.

As I finished thanking God for my Love Note, I started to wonder, how did this Love Note get into this pink binder?

And then, of course, I called my sister who was the owner of the cute pink binder!  As I read my Love Note to her over the phone, she recalled that it was a message she had prepared to share with her Campus Life Group, years earlier when she served in that ministry.  She thinks she had found it in an old Brio Magazine article.  (Note- if you find the original source- email me!  I searched online, and found a “copy” but not an original author, and I’d love to give them full credit.)

That court date is now a few years behind me.  It was the second worst day of my life, but God got me through it.  He’s continued to show up every day.  He wants to be personally involved in my life- even when the hardest part of my day is finding inspiration to tackle the endless mountain of laundry.

God does not single out only certain people to send love notes to, or to speak to.  Re-read that Love Note up above.  It’s really God’s Word, that some creative person personalized.  It’s not just for me, it’s for you.  His greatest Love Note to each one of us, is probably sitting on your bedside table, or maybe a little bit dust-covered on a bookshelf.  The Bible.  It is filled to overflowing with the truth of His love for us.   (If you don’t have a Bible, you can read it online at www.biblegateway.com)

He came to this earth 2,000 years ago, just to save YOU.  To have a relationship with YOU.  If you had been the only person on this planet, He still would have come.  He is that personal.

Don’t ever doubt that God cares about the details of your life.   He sees every victory, and every tear.  He’s right there.  Call out to Him.  He is ready and waiting.  He is interested.  He loves you, and it’s true love.

Are you carrying something that you need to lay at His feet?  He knows we face hard stuff, really hard stuff.  He knows we live in a world that is lost and filled with flawed people.  He has not asked us to shoulder the burdens that come with life on this fallen planet.

Matthew 11:28-30  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. 

If you are in need of comfort, turn to book of Psalms- as you read, and seek Him, I know He will meet you right where you are.  Whether you are in the midst of a really difficult life circumstance, or just need some encouragement in the daily grind.

Psalm 34:4-8, 17-18

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;  he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant;  their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.  The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.  Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.  The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.  The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

These are just a few verses from His Love Note to us.  There are so many more  that He wants to use to speak life, hope, comfort, peace and most of all love to you.

I’m praying for you sweet friends- that you will grasp how much He wants to be in your everyday life, and even more that you will discover His true love for you through His greatest Love Note of all.

Further Still

Further Still.

Ever found yourself there?  It’s a lonely place.  It’s a hard place.  No one wants to go there.

Beth Moore shared those two words, Further Still, during a Bible study I attended a decade ago.  She expounds on it beautifully in her book by the same title.

Further Still.  The words resonated with me.  They stuck.

My Further Still began seven years after that Bible study, in my bath tub.

It was a great bath tub.  A dozen jets, all of the bells and whistles that a    bubble-bath-loving-Mom-of-four could dream of.  A relaxing refuge after a busy, kid-filled day.  Sanity really.

This particular day, it was empty but for me.  I sat in it, fully clothed, shoes on,   shocked, shaken and completely empty- me and the bath tub.

“What do I do Lord?  I don’t know how to do this.  What about these precious children?  How can this be happening?  Please don’t make me walk this path Lord…”  I begged.  I pleaded.  Body racking sobs- surely enough tears to fill that bath tub.

Divorce.  I could not even say the word.  It was not in my vocabulary and it certainly was not in MY plan.

I thought God and I were on the same page about MY plan.  I’d served Him wholeheartedly.  I’d  followed His Word.  MY plan was His plan, wasn’t it?

Married to my high school sweetheart for fifteen years.  He was hero status around our house and in my heart.  We had four healthy, sweet children.  We faithfully served in ministry together.

I was living my happily ever after.

Divorce.  Eighteen years of my life unraveled by sheer free will.  It was a harsh reality filled with stinging rejection, the responsibility of four little hearts who counted on me, and more questions than answers.

My friends would tell you that I’m a strong, determined kind of a girl but it was clear to me that I could not pull myself up by my bootstraps in this place.  I was too broken.  I could barely breathe, never mind find my bootstraps.

Jesus Himself, went to a place of Further Still.  It was not an empty bath tub like mine, but it was surely a pain filled place.

They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to His disciples, “Sit here while I pray.”  He took Peter, James and John with him and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled.  “My soul  is overwhelmed with sorry to the point of death,” he said to them.  “Stay here and keep watch.”  Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him.  “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you.  Take this cup from me.  Yet not what I will but what you will.”  Mark 14:32-36

The disciples that accompanied Jesus that night stopped short of where Jesus went.  We read in later verses that they actually fell asleep.  Jesus had to go to that place alone, and travail in prayer before the Father.

I called out to Him from my empty bath tub.  He answered me.  He met me there.  We’d often meet there, in that empty bath tub.  But no matter where I was, He showed up every single day.

He whispered unconditional love to me through His Word.

The book of Psalms became a healing balm to my shattered heart.

He reminded me that He still had a perfect plan for my life.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.“  Jeremiah 29:11-13

He understood my distress, promised to rebuild the ruins of my life and give my children peace.

“O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will build you with stones of turquoise,your foundations with sapphires.  I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones.  All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children’s peace.  In righteousness you will be established: tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear.”  Isaiah 54:11-14a

Everyone has their own place of Further Still.  Mine was divorce.

What’s yours?

Maybe you lost a loved one much too soon.  Maybe you’re really sick.  Maybe you have a wayward child.  Maybe you’re in the midst of depression.  Maybe you long for a child, and find your arms empty.  Maybe you’re stepping into a recovery program for an addiction.

Life on this imperfect planet is filled with trials and heartbreaking seasons.

God knows the way through every single difficult and painful circumstance we face.  He sees the path to the other side.  We cannot fast forward through it.  It’s step by step, moment by moment.  Oftentimes, it’s just doing the next right thing.

The wonderful thing about God is that He knows all about everything.  He knows every detail of your life.  He loves you BIG!  He delights in you, just because you are you.  He will speak to you through His Word.  He will lead you.  He will comfort you.  He will hold you up.  He will strengthen you.  He will see you through.

Psalm 46:1 says it wonderfully—

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

~Cory-Lynn

Copyright (c) Cory-Lynn Hatton.  All Rights Reserved.

 

The Journey

So here I am.  No fanfare.  No drum roll.  Just me filled with humble anticipation!

Welcome to Autumn Grace.

Wholly dedicated to Jesus, as this was His idea in the first place.  Really.

Special thanks to my husband Dan, my biggest cheerleader.  Without him, my courage would waiver and the contents of this blog would remain hidden in the pages of journals or in quiet conversations with just a few.  He makes me brave enough to share with you, my heart.  I’m forever grateful for the gift that he is.

And thank you to my dear friends who walk beside me in the everyday journey that is my life.  You, sweet ones, are my inspiration!

One of my favorite songs is Desert Song by Brooke Fraser.  The last verse in that powerful song says, “And this is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and Providence flow, I know I’m filled to be emptied again, the seed I received I will sow.”  That’s the season I find myself in. It’s a new place, a happy place, a reflecting place and a new beginnings kind of place, it’s autumn.  Autumn Grace.

I hope here you will discover truth,  love, hope, comfort, encouragement, and most of all, a glimpse of God’s great BIG heart.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!   Amen.  Ephesians 3:20-21NIV

~Cory-Lynn

Copyright (c) Cory-Lynn Hatton.  All Rights Reserved.